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Things I do and don’t like December 23, 2005

Posted by butterfly in Home.
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I am starting to not like it here at home, and I think I came in with a rather negative attitude about it. It almost stretches to an example of a young child being told that it is time to go home, when they are in the middle of having the time of their life. Right where I am right now, I don’t know. God where am I? Where did I try and lead myself? Where have I wondered? Why am I writing this all out in a blog? Why am I even on the computer? Why can I not get away from it? I like being able to spend time doing…but do I ever actually do? What am I living for, and how can I live for it if I am not living now? When will the rage and the fury last long enough to form into something logical and useful? When will it last long enough to be used for the right things, instead of only making me uncomfortable where I am at, and taking it out on the wrong things? Why am I so against what my dad does now? Is it because I am possesive? Is it because my thinking has been changed? If so, which is right, now or then? I am hurt and confused because of lies, and what I think are lies. I am hurt by the truth as well. Reality is a sting. Why am I writing this all in a blog? And yet I keep writing. What am I to do, oh Lord? Take me as I am, mold me and make me new. Let not this burdened spirit of mine stay long, but pass into a living and breathing lighter one. I cannot decide which way is left or right. Let me be guided by You. Let You be my strength. Fill my heart with gladness and joy in the miracles you have bestowed. Let me be Yours, and no one elses. Let me feel Your presense. Let my heart rest with Your hands. Let me lay down at Your feet, and run to You in time of need. Let me not run somewhere here, but to You There. Let me be Yours, oh Lord, and taken by no one else. Thank You, my Father, for loving me as I am. Thank You, for filling me deep inside. Thank You for never leaving my side. I will rejoice in You always. I will rest in You, and never let my mind think other wise. I shall be full by You, and never let my heart drink other wise. I am Yours, because You made me so. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You, for allowing me to write this all out. Thank You, for being You; Lord of Lords, King of Kings, Saviour, Father, Mighty, and Worthy.

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